Happy hour
by crimsonchocobo15
Summary: Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Spelling errors ahead.
1. Chapter 1

"What the hell", Lightning deeply sighed over today's shocking events. Lightning had been sitting on the beach of Valhalla along side Odin (in horse from), pouting. "That idiot never cease to amaze me", she said, her knees pulled to her chest, arms wrapped around her legs, face buried in her knees. She shutters at the thought and sight of one man in her mind... Caius. She swore under her breath at him for being an idiot. Why was he an idiot you ask? (You probably didn't ask but i'm gonna tell you anyway)  
-Flashback- Oerba, 200 AF. "Caius, don't drink so much...", Yeul said in concern for Caius. He had been drinking today, a lot in fact. He was all wobbly and he tripped over everything (even air), his words were slurred. That's to be expected after seven cans of STRONG beer. "I'm ffffine Yeul, I cannon handle ttthis", Caius slurred. This was his happy hour day and he was determined to enjoy it. "Caius, your going to get sick if...", Yeul was cut off. "I'm going toooo annoy Lightning today ash usual, stay here", Caius said tripping over his feet and falling on his face. He let out an amused chuckle. "Cai-", Yeul was cut off again when Caius placed a finger on her lips. "Sssshush, dear child", he said smirking. He's gone completely out of it. Yeul tried to sit Caius down but he wouldn't budge. He was in a drunken daze before he notice Yeul pushing him. He lightly poked her in the stomach, causing her to back away then he went for another beer. Yeul tried to take the can from him and throw somewhere but no such luck. Yeul was annoyed at him behavior and was about to lecture him when he flipped over something, causing him to fall on his face again. Yeul smacked her palm against her forehead. "What am I to do with you", she said, rolling her. Caius hopped up, dusted himself off and marched toward Valhalla with a flushed face and a big smirk, still in a drunken state. In Valhalla, Lightning and her army was waiting for Caius and his army. To her surprise, he came alone and looked stupid. She raised an eyebrow and carefully tired to approach him. One of the Eidolon tried to sneak up behind him for a surprise attack. "Farrooon, how is ya love", he asked Lightning, raising his hands in the air, smacking the Eidolon in the face in the process. Not paying attention to the person behind him, Caius tried to walk toward to Lightning, Lightning then put her guard up only to see him tripping and falling on his face... yet again. Lightning's eyes widened as she tilted her head to the side in shock along with everyone else. Caius sprang up from the ground, pointing at Lightning, "Give me beer wench" he said with a grin. Lightning realized that today was Caius' happy hour day (every second Friday of every month). Caius grabbed her hand, pulled her close and started dancing. Blushing, Lightning forced herself out of his grasp, only to find him singing a manic. Lightning thought he's gone mental. Next thing you know, Caius was right next to Lightning with an arm around her shoulder, his gaze meeting hers saying, "You know... i've always wanted a pony". Lightning's mouth opened in confusion. Caius suddenly turned his gaze to Odin, who was in horse form. Caius appeared in front of him in a flash. Freaked out, Odin started running, Caius following. "The hell kinda drugs is he on", Lightning tsked going after the two. Out of nowhere, Caius stopped and turned around. Lightning crashed and bumped heads with him. Caius was unaffected while Lightning was holding her head in pain. Caius then (still drunk), smacked her in the face. Rage and anger told over Lightning, she balled her fist, about to strike when Caius grabbed her waist, pulled her closer and place a soft, passionate kiss on her lips before falling on the ground unconscious, snoring. Lightning just stood there in shock, flushed, jaw dropped.  
-Flashback ends-  
The kiss replayed over and over in her mind. Disgusted, yet pleased. She cursed herself at the thought of tasting Caius again as she touched her lips. She got up and headed toward Etro's palace, shaking her head in shame with Odin following his master. "Ballad, next time, you'll learn your place", she vowed, still pouting. 


	2. Chapter 2

Bodhum seaside, home to one of the most eventful parts of the city, especially during the night. Clear blue, big ocean, white sandy beach, bonfires, volleyball games, watermelon smashing, Lebreau's bar, chocobo races, wishing fireworks, thousands... very lively place. Perfect for taking time off. Perfect for 'second Friday of the month' events.  
-In Valhalla-  
Lightning was kneeled down in front of Etro's crystal throne, praying for Etro to keep Serah, Noel, and Mog safe on their journey. Turning around, heading toward the balcony across the room, she waited for her usually sparring session with her fated rival. She waited, back and forth, sword waiting in hand, fuming. 'Where the hell is he's, she thought. Several hours later, Lightning was leaning against the rail of the balcony, looking up at the sky spaced out. A loud roar snapped her out of her out of her daze. She spotted a choas bahamut flying around overhead. She knew who that bahamut was annoyed to the point that she didn't even feel like fighting today. Transforming out of bahamut form, a tall, tan, buff, purple guy appears walking out of a cloud of purple and black smoke. Lightning stood there with a bored look on her face, crossing her arms waiting for the pile of excuses. "Late again are we", Lightning spoke. "I don't get a 'Hi' or 'how are you' or a hug", Caius said, using his all famous smirk. "Shut it, smurf", Lightning coldly replied. "Cold as ever my dear warrior goddess... by the way, smurfs are blue", Caius laughed. "You would know", Lightning shot back. "Look, I didn't come for insults, I came to tell you i'll be gone for a few days on vacation", he said. "Vacation", Lightning asked, "Is this some kinda joke"? "Sorry, no... I need a break from babysitting you", he said laughing. "Babysitting", Lightning asked raising an eyebrow. "Right, see you til' then", Caius said, running away and disappearing before Lightning could strangle him. 'I guess i'll take this as a blessing and take a vacation myself'. 'Time to hit the beach', Light thought.  
-Bodhum seaside-  
"Caius, it's so noisy here", a petite, blue-haired girl in an all-white one piece, sitting on a thin towel said, watching a certain purple-haired warrior, topless and in long black swimming pants, cover himself with tanning lotion. "This place is pretty popular, especially that bar over there", Caius said, slyly grinning. "I don't advise going there", Yeul said. "Come on, what could happen...", he said, beginning his tanning session. All Yeul could do was sigh. On the other side of the beach, far from Caius and Yeul, in a beach chair, a pink-haired warrior in a black mini dress-like swimsuit, pink and black studded sunglasses and reading a magazine, not aware of a certain problem. "Attention all you party animals, tonight is Lebreau's bar's party for selling 500,000 drinks, reserve now for 'all you can eat and drink' for free as a thanks to my customers", the owner shouted through a megaphone. The crowd of people on the beach jumped and cheered and roared like apes at this, which scary Yeul a bit. Caius' face lit up in excitement at Lebreau's announcement, he just had to make a reservation for all the beer you can drink and all the food hi can eat. He wasted no time hurrying to the horribly long line. "Ahh, what", Caius groaned in disappointment at the line. A large group of girls saw this and basically attacked numerous people out of the way so that the handsome Caius Ballad could sign up. 'Didn't even have to sweet talk them', Caius thought smirking. Leaving the line after reserving a spot, Lightning came to reserve her one (not noticing Caius' presence). The same thing happened to her as it did with Caius, guys making room for the beautiful woman to reserve her a table. 'These idiots are pathetic', Lightning thought, rolling her eyes. Lightning wanted to take a dip in the ocean... and so did Caius. Lightning took a running start before leaping into the air and hitting a series of flips, gracefully entering the water, earning her a huge applause for a bypassing crowd that watched her. Caius took out an inflatable chair and floated along, putting his hands behind his head, eyes closed behind sunglasses, relaxing and shining like a prince, earning awes for his magnificent looks. Lightning was underwater enjoying the amazing sealife scenery while a wave caught Caius' inflatable and sent him flying. Everyone was gawking in amazement by Caius, who apparently was surfing while sitting. Soon after, a giant wave was coming and the gawkers got excited. Caius thought everyone had gone mad but when he looked over and saw a bunch of people pointing, he tensed up. Caius looked up and saw a wave about to crush him. Before he could move, the wave took him under and he crash landed into someone. Coming back into focus, Caius looked to see what soft person he fell on. 'Oh shit'. Caius fell on Lightning, who looked like she had a heart attack from shock. She looked up only to see a stunned face Caius. Lightning's eyes widened and mouth dropped, allowing water to enter her air supply. Before they both drowned of shock, they swam to the top gasping for air. "He's lives people", the people watching Caius' surfing episode cheered. 'Thank goodness', Yeul sighed in relief. "Why are you here", Lightning went off, her face red with anger. "Enjoying my vacation until recently... why are you here", Caius complained. "I came for my vacation from smurfs", Lightning teased, 'Of all the places...' "You're a lie and a half, lying is bad Farron. I know why you're here", Caius said. 'I've got to here this one', Lightning thought, "What reason would I have to lie, Ballad"? Caius began smirking. "You came here because you could stand being away from me, can't live without me... honestly, i'm touched and glad you missed me that much", he laughed so hard. "I rather bleed to death", Lightning scoffed. "I can make that happen,my sweet". "Go play with yourself, Caius", Lightning hissed, swimming back to shore. "Awwwww, come on, i'd rather play with you, rejoice and come play with me", Caius invited with open arms. At that, Lightning stopped and gave him the evil eye,making him slowly lower himself back underwater. "Volleyball game, starting in an hour and a half", a lifeguard shouted through her megaphone (apparently, everyone likes using megaphones). Caius poked his head back up. "What the heck is volleyball", Caius asked to himself,confused. He's never played the ball of volley before. Lightning was drying her soft pink hair when Caius walked up and sat in front of her looking like a lost child. "What do you want now, perhaps to fall on me again", Lightning asked him annoyed. "What's volleyball", Caius asked. Lightning just stood there, that's all she could do. 'He can't be serious', she thought. She pointed at two girls practicing before the game. Caius was actually interested, he was like a meek little boy that lit up by the sight of candy. 'Huh, it's one surprise after another with this guy'. "Teach me how to play", he commanded. (I almost typed teach me how to jerk, lol) "Say... what", Lightning said spooked. "After I learn I wanna see whose better at this... unless you're admitting defeat already", he teased. 'That doesn't even make sense, definitely a child', she thought, "Sure".  
At a lone volleyball net, Lightning got ready for this ridiculous event. Yeul sat on the side with a bag of popcorn and a camera ready in hand, 'This is gonna be good'. Lightning explained the rules to a pumped Caius, visual and audio-like, and made the first serve. No matter how many times she served, he missed. He failed with flying colors. 'God, Caius really sucks'. Yeul took pictures and laughed to herself. "Ok, you serve this time", Lightning said, thinking that would be better. Was she ever wrong. The first time he served, he actually hit it but with too much force, so much that it busted and bursted into purple flames. 'How the hell does that happen', Lightning thought. Her and Caius looked at each other dumbfounded, "Picture perfect moment", Yeul said, snapping a pic. The next few times, he threw the ball (the new ball) up, swung to early or too late and missed every time. Lightning did a face palm while Yeul continued snapping pictures and munching on popcorn. Aggravated, Caius finally hit the ball, sending it flying. Sadly, it flew right into Lightning's face, making her fall back. Caius' eyes widened while Yeul took pictures like a mad woman. Lightning sat up with a death look on her face. 'I think I just shortened my life a few years', Caius thought. "Damn right you have", Lightning scowled, knowing exactly what he was thinking. Over time, Caius got the hang of volleyball, for if he didn't, Lightning would hand his ass to him (maybe even on a silver platter). The game was about to start and the crowd was gathered up. Lightning and Caius were paired up against the Bodhum seaside champions, Maqui and Yuj. 'What am I doing here', Lightning thought. 'This defeats the purpose of seeing who better at this between me and Lightning', Caius thought. The game sorta went something like: Maqui and Yuj= 5 points/ Caius and Lightning= zip. Caius' brain then snapped and went to overload and he went crazy. New score: Maqui and Yuj= 5 points/ Caius and Lightning= 20 points in 5 minutes! Maqui and Yuj had a panic attack on how that happened while Lightning and Caius were rewarded 2000 gil each for winning. "Who woulda thought this would actually be fun and worth my time", Lightning said, counting her gil. Nighttime approached. "Happy hour time", Caius grinned slyly. Looking over his shoulder, he saw Yeul asleep in the sand, all funned out. Not wanting to miss his special time, he hurried to take Yeul to a safe time period and get back to help himself to all the booze and food he wanted. Lightning found herself a nice place away from as many people as possible so she could eat in peace. She ordered the Lebreau special, consisting of boneless lemon pepper chicken, (or chocobo) a half pound of shrimp, steak fries seasoned to perfection, a huge slice of 'death by chocolate' cake, and a strawberry daiquiri to drink, a meal that would fill anyone up. Waiting for her food, Lightning saw a few people walking in, one of them being purple-haired. 'If this wasn't free, I wouldn't be here'. Caius, and some random guys and girls sat three rows away from Lightning, giggling and flirting. 'Sick... no one would care if I killed that jackass, right'? Lightning couldn't stand when Caius was happy. She rather see him serving her or dead in a ditch somewhere. She was so upset, she didn't notice guys around her taking to flirt until one got in her face. "You gotta man or what", the guy said, stroking her leg like a hormonal driven caveman. Lightning chuckled, pulling out her handy, dandy gunblade and pointed it toward his crouch. "Keep your hand there another second, and you'll lose it", she said smiling wickedly. That guy, along with the other guys around her, turned pale white and scattered. "Hmph", Lightning's smile faded as she put her gunblade away. Caius saw everything through the corner of his eye and chuckled to himself, 'Gotta admire that girl'. Lightning tried stuffing her face so she could leave asap when her food arrived, "I've had enough fun for one day", she said sarcastically. "Who wants to challenge my good friend, Gadot to a drink off", the owner Lebreau shouted stirring up the people of the bar. A drum roll went off as a spotlight searched the room until it landed on Caius, who did a spit-take at being chosen, the bar going crazy. "This, I cannot wait to see", Lightning said. "What's your name, handsome", Lebreau asked. "Caius", he said, still concerned. "I'm gonna wipe the floor with this weak guy, you should go back to Justin Beiber's back up dancers, pretty boy", Gadot said, trying to start hype. "Ooooooo", the whole bar went like immature children, feeling the air tense. "On the head of Etro, you'll regret that", Caius got dead serious. "Whatever, Barney", Gadot replied. Caius was pissed and Lightning was laughing her ass off. "May the best 'ahem' MAN win, the cocky Gadot laughed, holding out his hand to shake. "I plan to", Caius said cooly, literally breaking Gadot's left hand while shaking it and walk to the contest area, giving off a sexy aura that drove every girl in the bar, including Lightning, mad. 'Oh shot's, thought Gadot. With the contest started, people of the bar cheered as Caius and Gadot gulped down Lebreau's famous 15 ounce cans of beer. Gadot got to 19 cans before passing out while Caius got to 20. The bar went crazy about how Caius is breaking all the records today. Lightning, being the good person she is, felt bad for how drunk Caius was and decided to help him out the bar. Once outside, the wire inside Caius that kept his sanity in check snapped. He couldn't walk straight and slumped all over Lightning. 'Damn it, why'd I choose to do this', she thought. "Lightning, when are you gonna stop holding back and come to bed with me", Caius slurred, rubbing her arm, "You and I both know you want to". 'He's just drunk Farron, keep it together', Lightning thought blushing. "Also, you and I both know even though I drunk, everything I say is true... by the way, that swimsuit (still in their swimsuit) of your is pretty revealing", he slurred, reaching under her mini dress-like swimsuit. "Hands off, perverted bastard", Lightning yelled, turning redder. "You know you like it", he slurred, smirking and flushed from how high he was. Before Lightning gathered the strength to strike him, he passed out and fell on her (again). Lightning blushed redder than an apple, given the sexy position she was in. Hands entwined, Caius slowly and gently breathing on Lightning's neck while he slept. For a moment, she admittind that she was loving this embrace... until he started drooling on her. "Damn it, stop drooling on me", she cried. Caius snapped his eyes open and pick Lightning up bridal style saying, "THE PARTY DON'T STOP". Caius ran to the ocean and threw Lightning in. "Be free beautiful", he said. A shimmering light formed in the water and out came the hot-tempered warrior goddess, armored up and sword in hand, about to slay Caius. To be continued... 


End file.
